INSPIRE ME!!

I'm inspired by art, the whispers of revolution, the ancient japanese art of origamy I'm enthused by love, sometimes I shower and roll in it, I'm paralysed and set free by love, I'm inspired by nature, the healing touch of herbalism and organic lifestyles, I'm inspired by the freedom of the spirit, the freedom of the mind and the freedom of the body, I'm inspired by Lauryn Hill, I'm inspired by the struggles of Mumia Abu Jamal, I'm inspired by the endurance of Ann Njogu, in the face of lack of democracy and freedom of expression, I'm inspired by unity; The unity of citizens standing together and singing SIMAMA against the shackles of corruption, I love Jazz, I'm amazed at the vocal power of Lady Ella and Louis Armstrong sending me to sleep with soothing melodies of " Dream a little dream of me", I'm inspired by the struggles of an expectant mother who beams with joy at the thought of her child, I'm inspired by the love of a mother, I'm inspired by good, I'm inspired by poetry mics at the junction an expression of verbal art, I'm set free by the performance art of spoken word, I'm lightened by watching capoeira dances- a type of brazilian dance, I'm in my spiritual state with the fusion of different types of drums, elevating me higher and higher to my spiritual place, I'm inspired by truth, I'm inspired by those who listen and the human race...

I thought I'd take a journey inside of me to find out what inspires me, I know its been a while since I updated my blog, but I'm still inspired but my inspiration leads me to achieve other things, leads me to accomplish other goals, I think most of all, I'm inspired by love which is why I'm thankful to the Most high for His marvellous gift.

EVENTS;

Last month I attended a performance at the Nairobi British council by Dead Prez (dead presidents) from the U.S.A . and their performance was mind blowing save for all the hip hop heads bumping their heads to chants of "HIP HOP" by the artsits, it was a crazy experience, the energy that was in the atmosphere was intense, I remember quietly tinking to myself 'yes!'
The Nairobi citizens are becoming more and more aware of their rights, what belongs to us as Africans and I'm honored, to be part of this revolution, honored to be a part of this history. rebeling against these systems that hold us down, don't get me wrong I just strive for the freedom of the mind, the breakage of these social padlocks that eat us up inside.

After the Hip hop inspiration, we proceeded to another 'in-house protest' against E.P.A's (Economic Partnership agreements) and I remember saying ' Are you kidding me? ' Nairobi is alive with revolution and I can see it coming.Please log on to www.maketradefair.org for more information about this event and to see how these E.P.A's affect the posterity of Africa.


I'm inspired by gratitude!!! I'm inspired by You.

RETROSPECT INTO LIFE

When I look at all the things in my past, things I've done that have made me downcast.I'm looking forward to my little sunshine, Even if the rain comes I'll be fine, Because I create my own world Where I paintit and colour it and make it all I'm dreaming of.

"She put on a faded yellow dress, picked up the clothes her sister had thrown about in drunkeness, took off her shoes and scrubbed the concrete floor.The room smelled like the sister's unwashed body.There was a single bed where the two of them slept with the baby, a roof of corrugated metal held in place by two crossed two by fours from which a bare bulb hung.Every wall was in touching distance of the bed.The view outside was a concrete wall.She opened the door, and knelt outside on the sunny concrete, leaning in to scrub the floor.So strong she was , so able in this world of pain.The police had shot her father; her two mothers could not help her, she rented her body to live , and she lived she nourished her baby and her sister.Nothing could crush her until death.she was pure and her name was Rose."

There she was,Tall and Brown, sweeping.


adapted from 'the Atlas'.


I will today like no other accept my mistakes but constantly striving to be better to constantly renew day by day.

It feels wrong ...but I dont want to be right
Why this time there seems to be no fight
I delight.
Can't imagine I'm being this way again
Thought that I'd never see the end of this rain
It feels wrong ... but I'm anxious
Waiting for him to walk through the door
Though for now all I see is the wall and the floor
Just like Bob Marley...
I dont want to wait in vain

Ruki.

APRIL'S SHOWERS BRING MAY'S FLOWERS.

"Everything has been figured out except how to live.'' Jean Paul Sarte.

Elevation of social status, Gender Equality, Affirmative action, Human Rights advocacies, The notion of everyday cries.The great barrier between the rich and the poor, The great divide between the haves and the have nots.I had a dream that one day, I would see a world where the truth is reconciled, where people embrace their divinity , a place where materialism ceases to consume us but isnt this us?Arent we (human beings) selfish moreover greedy?? What we really seek is a materially consumed culture, a culture that idolises Material things and among other things fame.

Where in the past the word black was associated with evil, something really bad and mysterious.But today the word black no longer connotes evil or dirt but pride and beauty.The popular sayings " black is beauty and the origin of a man's heart is black" It becomes almost inevitable for me to ask why we should seek to be integrated with a society such as this, that thwarts efforts for a particular race to prosper.In our colonial history... The African would be caned or beaten to death or sent to prison for many months if he attempted to shake hands with a white woman or talk to her publicly in a friendly manner even at her own request... apart from taking word orders from her.a new type of hidden superiority complex based on class and race.Thwarting any social integration efforts.It was offensive in the colonial past for a Black, African native to smoke a cigarette or a pipe near a white man or even while talking to him, or TO SIT DOWN WHILE THE WHITE MAN WAS PASSING!!!, The colonial myths of european superiority were to a considerable degree racist myths and Europeans racisms contributed to the establishment and maintenance of a rigid three layers caste system in Kenya with europeans at the top, Asians in the middle and Africans at the bottom.

" As long as the mind is enslaved the mind cannot be free." Martin Luther King Jr.

WHAT GOOD!!

What good is a flower if it cant bloom?
What good is expansion if you have no room?
What good is a twig if it cant sprout?
What good is a voice if It cant shout?
What good is life, If you cant be free?
What good am I, If I cant be me?

Adapted from "Coffee will make you Black"
April Sinclair.

The truth

I've made numerous mistakes in my life, I have kissed the sand and felt the warmth of the sun, I have painted colored pictures on your wall and left you colored, Feels like I've been down this road reading the signs and I have made mistakes in my life that I just cant hide, Got myself together now I'm ready to sing I've been serching my soul tonight feels like theres so much more to life how i wish I could find a way to go back home.

"If he ever left me I wouldn't even be sad no... there's a blessing in every lesson And I'm glad that I knew him at all :Cause he is the truth Said he is so real And I love the way that he makes me feel And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly cause His light it shines so bright I love the way he speaks I love the way he thinks I love the way that he treats his mama I love that gap in between his teeth I love him in every way that a woman can love a man From personal to universal but most of all It's unconditional You know what I'm taking about That's the way I feel And I always will- There ain't no substitute for the truth Either it is or isn't Cause he is the truthYou see the truth it needs no proof Either it is or it isn't Cause he is the truth Now you know the truth by the way it feels And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly Cause he is yes he is I wonder does he know "India arie.

I messed up a big mess, Let the love of my life go...and now I realise how he is the truth but i cant be mad, I'm learning from this lesson and I'm glad that I knew him at all.I love you Makau, I always will.There aint no substitute for you.

After the Beginning.

The tree fell and its leaves were scattered

The girl cried because her life was shattered

Her hands are filled with remorse

All because of that stranger mouse

Now the tree is leafless and good words need to be uttered.

accepting yourself

A life skill . I think its important for everyone to search in each one's centre and find their own truth. The only wrong thing that we do is search outside of ourselves intending to find ourselves but what we find is not really u, doesnt reflect our divine nature that God placed inside each one of us. I say this because I've witnessed crazy things, alot of emotional cheating takes place and as a result emotional pain-nothing positive.
What makes you click? Like I'd say everyone knows that they are gulity, like Lauryn Hill Says. its this perpertration that kills us inside and makes us average beings but arent we Human? Aren't we subject to making mistakes due to the gene placed in us, during creation.I think we are but that shouldnt be a justification to making mistakes that so easily cause us to lose ourselves in the moment , in events non substantive with no gain at all.
It also beats me at how we are really materialistic, place so much value on what cannot satisfy, place so much energy in things that can be quantified, added, subtracted the works. anyway beats me.
I dont like it when others try to make other people feel small, Diminishing their light that is supposed to make them shine make them illuminate and be the best they can be. Makes me mad!! Makes me sad indeed.

The Weakness of the heart is holy.

I'm proud of who I am, I'm at peace with what my creator made me to be , I will be proud in my life station and live life like I Have it today.

The end of the torrent

I'm particularly mellow today I dont know why but I just am, I had my last class at 11am today and I feel dread its crazy!!So anyway....


Woman of my age
Dance to your song
Your world is the centre stage
Write your own brilliant page
Idealism remains the fire
To quench all these desire...

When I write I feel the infusion
Across the paper piece through
My heart.
A sense of spiritual liberation
Like the infusion of the tazo green tea
From the Himalayas...
Feels like the drop of January's sporadic rain
To disperse all the confusion and pain
Feels like a mothers intuition to her little king
When faced with a situation
Feels like the embrace of your lover
Feels like the aroma of freshly brewed coffee
In the midst of July's freezing cold.

Afraid to be and afraid to not be

I had a late night. I've been thinking really hard you know, I always do sometimes I get my inspiration, sometimes I dont well last night I was just beat.I feel Marginalised.I feel out of place.Today morning I woke up and realised that i need to use my creative energy I think its the only thing that keeps me sane. I feel really bad that I missed the world social forum, I read about it and I was thinking about it last night.It must have been a blast though I heard that the issues that were being addressed merely served to remind us of the plight of the world social affairs and as most forum only served to remind us and not give solutions. How sad! this is just what I heard from someone that attended it. anyway, regardless i still feel that I should have been there.

I will stand in my own centre as an aFrican sister and shine my light.

I thought this Marcus Garvey pic was cool.

Peace, Light and Blessings.

REAL SITUATION

In pitch darkness

Destitute

A word prostitute

She breathes her words

Her Instrument

Her new testament

She screams vitality

But mentally

She's dying.

A subject to society

Brutal to herself but

To others

Servitude

Gratitude is what she receives

But she deceives

Others.

A mental fugitive

Running away from herself

As round as the bottom of a baked beans metal can

She smacks her lips

Her solution grips

In the music of a tobbacco smoke

In it she seeks

But remains sick

Running away

She reads the dailies

Needs a rope to keep on pulling

Needs a hope to keep on looking

Her pen has run out of ink

It stinks

that she sings no more

It hurts that she's in a dreamer's galore

Wake up!

Change your gear

Disregard your fear

Open your eyes then

Listen

To the sound.

The sound of your thoughts.

The voices in your head

That are silenced.

Dread.

She seeks to find but

Rescinds.

Her pride

Her roots

Her normality ceases to exist

When she takes this twist.

'Ceteris Paribus'

My title is an economic term meaning holding factors constant that I learnt from my Economics class. I think its amazing what learning new things does to you. For me, its awesome, my brain has food and I get to do what I do best- think!Though sometimes, it gets crazy cause I keep on wondering if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm following my destiny,but I also think It'd be weird if i dont ask myself these questions.I'm on the right track and as India Arie can attest, I'm headed in the right direction...

Anyway, I think its actually interesting the way we live life and make decisions ' Ceteris Paribusly' so to speak.Completely oblivious to what will happen between now and then. "Are you going for a hike tommorow?" or " I'll meet you there in five minutes." These are so engraved in our daily minds that we forget to give thanks to God once we make it through another day!

So today I had someone speaking about "african Identity" This really interests me because I feel that as africans we are losing our sense of identity because we are currently embracing western ideologies in the context of modernity. However, sociologists are blaming this on the acculturisation process- whereby an individual or a society assimilates useful trends of the other.Identity refers to who you are. Everyone on the globe has an identity, this brings out your sense of worth.

According to Leopold Sedor Senghor a phenomenal African writer and poet from West africa ...“that we consider the Negro-African as he faces the Other: God, man, animal, tree or pebble, natural or social phenomenon. In contrast to the classic European, the Negro-African does not draw a line between himself and the object, he does not hold it at a distance, nor does he merely look at it and analyse it. After holding it at a distance, after scanning it without analysing it, he takes it vibrant in his hands, careful not to kill or fix it. He touches it, feels it, smells it. The Negro-African is like one of those Third Day Worms, a pure field of sensations... Thus the Negro-African sympathises, abandons his personality to become identified with the Other, dies to be reborn in the Other. He does not assimilate; he is assimilated. He lives a common life with the Other; he lives in a symbiosis.”

Its important that we look into our past to be able to identify with the future, a concept of reality that we have to accept because it makes us who we are today!

I've watched a couple of African movies; Tsotsi, Cry Freedom, Sarafina, Shooting dogs and Hotel rwanda among others and they display different concepts of reality that the African continent battles with today; tribalism, Racism among others. These are here with us, no matter how much we try to ignore they exist within the african boundaries if not everywhere else.

Recently, it came to my realisation that the HIV virus affects mainly the countries in sub- Saharan africa.Its crazy no matter what kind of theories we evaluate as to how the disease was manufactured, the fact remains that it is killing very many africans as I write this, whether this is a man-made catastrophe, it remains to question but what is evident is that the virus is spreading at a first rate.Sooner or later the virus will wipe out a whole generation. Cest La vie!!


Anyway i'll leave with the words of Mos def "The goodness of life belongs to those who believe." and we belive dont we?

Freedom of speech

Much thanks to the Centre of creative arts-University of Kwa Zulu Natal for the inspiration.

My current read is "Live from Death Row" by Mumia Abu- Jamal. This is a great man indeed ; a journalist and also an activist who is constantly fighting for the rights of the African- Americans(even in the confinements of a Philadelphia jail, this man is courageous and continues to speak!)Its amazing, He has inspired me to think critically in social issues affecting our court systems today. Please visit www.mumia.org for more information.

"To move clearly in the present we must understand the burden of our past." Mumia Abu- Jamal.

Now back home, there's much hype about the World Social Forum Nairobi 2007. Its very encouraging to see how there is much awareness about the social issues affecting Africa at this stage and age and how platforms are being provided to discuss these issues. It brings peace to my heart. Viva La Revolu'cion (excuse any typos) To Africa. This is to all the Visual artists, Dramatists, word artists , journal writers, musicians and poets; To all the creative genuises that correlate art to daily living bigups to you.

Let us Stand strongly in our own centre as Africans and live from our hearts.

The Liberation of Black African Women

Today I spent a lot of time in the campus library doing alot of research on african women writers and poets.its amazing how there are so many of them that existed and continue to exist but few are well known.Its funny what Capitalism can do.Make you create and believe something thats not real, not even there.Brilliant black women writers often find it difficult to penetrate the market and are often marginalised because of societal pressure that ceases to acknowledge the creativity of black, African women.Most of these women's stories; Micere Mugo Githae, The Late Ellen Kuzwayo, Ama Aidoo etc are over more than a decade ago; their stories are similar i.e having to prove to the publishers that their work is viable and should be taken into consideration.

Though we are living in the 21st century it is obvious to note that male chauvinists still exist in our present lives.Recently I was watching movies in the Students centre at my campus and in the movie, this lady was doing alot of physical stunts with her bike , you know jumping on walls and stuff, but she had a helmet so the audience could not know her identity, however after revealing her true identity-purely feminine, Everyone in the centre believed that it was a falsity, I asked why and I was told that women cant do that!

So marvelled am I but in retrospect maybe this is how we as women let it be.We let ourselves be damned like pieces of used bottles and smashed cans, we allow society to place us in the lowest rank of the ladder.

Struggle and set yourself free, Black, African woman!! Let us fight to unite.

I love poetry, I will write to free my mind regardless of what society labels me to be.

Peace and Blessings.